Thursday 16^th June

I have heard from Pete, the Northern Territory Traveller.  The three-men-in-a-plane have just arrived in Darwin and they are staying in a caravan park.  In a small cabin… Andrew gets the biggest cabin with the double bed, as befits his station as Pilot and Owner of the Plane.  John and Pete will be sleeping, I believe, in small single beds within very close earshot of each other’s snores…

They have just flown in from Channel Point, where they had a wonderful time staying with a wonderful host whose name I didn’t catch but never mind… He was very hospitable and they were very happy.  I have googled Channel Point and have gleaned a few snippets:

• It is also known as “Barradise” (by which I assume that…there are lots of barramundi to be caught)
• If you like you can go on Muzza’s River and Reef Bash (fun for the boys!)
• It is “a small intact sample of the Territory’s isolated coastline” (ie it looks v beautiful, in the photos.)

My own family of Northern Territory Travellers has just returned.  Nicky, Gavin, Hamish and Angus have, I gather, had THE most wonderful holiday.  I think the boys are at a perfect age for a family adventure holiday – 10 and 12.  They have breakfasted at Uluru, swum in waterholes, explored Lichfield Park – I will get all the details when I see them.  (They have also, I gather, caught up with many Tasmanians also holidaying in the NT… It is a very big bit of country but…Tasmanians find each other, like magnets and iron filings.)

NYC #6  

The groovy set come out in great hordes to Soho on a Saturday morning, trawling the expensive and gorgeous shops for the latest of the latest.  We found ourselves in Dean and Delouca, and what a fabulous shop it is.  Apparently it is Nigella Lawson's favourite shop in all the world.  I have never seen such a delectable array of food.  All, clearly, of the most amazing quality.  It has everything - fresh fruit, meat, fish, cheeses from around the world, a bakery, a spice section, cookware, a coffee bar, and well-heeled New Yorkers.  I bought a slice of New York cheesecake (as you must) and ate it standing up at the marble-topped tables in one corner, reserved for just such a purchase.

I was quite alarmed to see that "SALE" signs had sprung up in windows overnight, but was relieved to find that they were not in the shops where we had given some vigorous exercise to our credit cards.

Several blocks of Lower Broadway had been transformed into a street market, with both sides lined with stalls, just only slightly better than the Vic Market variety, and not nearly so good as Salamanca Markets, but there were lots of food stalls selling typically American street food, which is quite different - gyros and churros (I did try to eat a churro at Santa Monica Pier, but a seagull stole it twixt hand and mouth) and "dogs" and halal food etc etc.  It had been my intention to eat often from food stalls but, frankly, it does not smell very inviting.

We found a wonderful independent book shop, complete with coffee bar.  Books are so much cheaper here.  One really great idea, I thought, was that there were lots and lots of comfortable chairs scattered around, so one could sit in comfort whilst browsing.  The best part though, was the overheard conversation in the coffee bar.  I have mentioned before that I am a shameless eavesdropper, but, in my defence, I point out that the following conversation was carried out in such loud voices that it was obviously meant to be overheard.  

Older Man:  In one of the books about me Schoppelhousten said that I was one of the few who understood the Japanese/German problem.  Is the paradigm the Germanish of the Japanese, or the Japanesish of the Germans?

Younger Man:  When I delivered my paper in Seoul, Hiromoto shook my hand and said that only I understood the Korean/Japanese dilemma.

Older Man:  When I was Head of the New York Council I agreed to an article which would discuss my contribution to the body of knowledge of the Budapest dichotomy.  I then decided that it was better to have only one thousand readers who understood what I was talking about, rather than millions who didn't.

Younger Man:  In my seminar in Prague I expanded on my book concerning the Indonesian situation.  Of course, Huggensmunster has had things to say too, not so well, I think.

On and on it went.  What do you think they were talking about?  I think maybe it was film???

Later, whilst eating upstairs at a shared table upstairs at our local Whole Foods store, two young women, tapping away on their laptops and talking loudly -

First Young Woman:  Of course, I had been in therapy for a year before I joined The Program.  So I have been in therapy now for four years and I am beginning to get to know myself.

Second Young Woman:  I am just coming to terms with touch.

First Young Woman:  You see, that is a revelation.  You can build your whole thing around touch.

 Earlier, in a toilet in a department store, two gorgeous, fabulously dressed young black women at the mirror, putting their makeup on:

First Gorgeous Young Woman:  When Jesus calls me, he aint gonna call me by my name.

Second Gorgeous Young Woman:  No he aint, he gonna call you by your spirit.

I love all this stuff.  It so demonstrates the essential nature of the shifts in the contemporary Australian/American paradigm, as I said in my most recent article.

I am sorry to have to report that Our Apartment is Trying to Kill or Maim Us.  Yes, it’s true.  These are its methods:

First: the steep, steep, narrow dangerous stairs.

Second: the clouds of dust causing allergies, sneezing and asthma.

Third: the light globes that keep needing replacing, and the dust and asbestos?? fragments that dislodge when removing the filthy screwed-on light bulb covers.

Fourth: the requirement to balance on rickety chair on rickety bed (no room for chair on floor) when trying to change said light globes.

Fifth: the gas permeating the apartment when the pilot lights on the gas stove blow out (because of the need to open the "kitchen" window to try to disperse dust and smells).

Sixth: spreading any number of third world diseases from the six inch layer of total filth exposed when lifting off top of stove to try to find the source of the gas leak.

Seventh: causing even more diseases because of the state of the plumbing, requiring use of plunger in the toilet (yuk!) and the bath and the mysterious gurgling noises in the "kitchen" sink.

Eighth: electrocution from the electrical wires looped and coiled around the "balcony" (read fire escape landing).

Ninth: likely broken neck in addition to electrocution when climbing out window to get to "balcony".

Tenth: robbery and murder - because of necessity of leaving windows to "balcony" wide open because of dust/stuffiness/gas fumes.

Eleventh: inducing deafness from the noise of bars, cars, emergency vehicles and drunk passersby which continues all night, heard because of open windows.

Twelfth: causing insanity due to claustrophobia resulting from the near impossibility of fitting two women and all their shopping within the apartment's confines (okay, we might have to bear some of the responsibility for this one).

And can anyone tell my why there is a "Carbon Monoxide Alarm Alert" on the "kitchen" wall?

Amazingly, despite these privations, we are getting on well.

We have decided that truth in advertising is not Mandy, the alleged apartment's alleged owner's, forte.

This is how our apartment is described:

"Stay like a real New Yorker in this adorable remodeled two bedroom apartment with balcony...This trendy and cozy two bedroom apartment can accommodate up to six people (!!!!).  It's a very quiet and peaceful apartment plus you can have all the comforts of home....full kitchen with dinning (sic) room table (huh!)......

We did wonder how Mandy, who is only a young woman, had managed to acquire this (and, according to her maid, Trenita), other rentals, given the price of real estate in New York.  We acquired the apartment through a website VRBO (Vacation Rental By Owner) through which myself and some other friends once got a fabulous apartment in Spoleto, Italy.  Now, you would assume that Vacation Rental By Owner, would mean the apartments were being rented to you by the owner, wouldn't you?  I did think it strange when Mandy said; "If anyone asks who you are, just tell them that you are Mandy's friend."  We have now discovered a sign in the hall on the ground floor from "Management" advising that leases will be terminated if rubbish is not put in the bins provided in the (very smelly) area provided under the stairs.  I think that our friend Mandy has found a nice little earner - leasing apartments and then renting them at a vast profit to short stay overseas visitors.  I wonder if this is legal?

Ironically, we chose this apartment mainly because of the glowing reviews it had been given.  Made up by Mandy, perhaps?  Or are people just mad?

Today I might go visit some nice, air-conditioned apartment stores - Bloomingdales, Macy's, Saks.  New York is unseasonably hot.

 Earlier, in a toilet in a department store, two gorgeous, fabulously dressed young black women at the mirror, putting their makeup on: