7^th June

Oh so tragic…another vacuum cleaner bites the dust.  Or rather, chokes on water…

As they say in the sad old songs…when will they ever learn?  I am very embarrassed to admit that I have sent yet another vacuum cleaner to the tip.  On Saturday Pete was fussing around doing last minute perfectionising on 2XS.  He left me alone for half an hour or so and I…decided to leave what I was doing – chopping up cabana and pickled onions – and help with the perfectionising.  As far as I could tell (my standards are not those of a Headlam) everything looked clean and crumb-free, but I picked up James’s lovely pink Electrolux cleaner and started vacuuming.  And oh look, a tiny speck of dust out there on the deck carpet…I’ll just suck that up, will I?  And…with an ominous sigh, the cleaner stopped instantly, emitting, as it did, a horrid electrical smell.  The carpet didn’t look wet but…it was just s teensy bit damp…and yes, as I said, this is not the first time I have done this exact Bad Thing.  I gave a startled cry and rushed about, trying to turn back time before Pete came back on board.  Superman did turn back time, to save Lois Lane, but I couldn’t do it, to save the Electrolux from a watery death, or myself from the look of horror on Pete’s face when I confessed.  He was SO angry, but what could he do??  Hurl me overboard?  Report me to the Electrolux police?  I am sure he wanted to do all of those things but all he could do was glare, and shake his head in disbelief.  (He did get over it, you will be pleased to know.  I didn’t have to spend the whole day basking in disapproval.)

Next ordeal was to confess to James.  I told Bron first.  She was totally OK about the whole thing and said “NO, you don’t have to buy a replacement, I bought a lovely new one recently; it is much better for picking up cat and dog hair, don’t worry!”  But of course I wanted to replace it.  And when I told James he had EXACTLY the same look of horror as his father.  His hair virtually stood on end as he cried “NOOO!!!  That was THE BEST vacuum cleaner ever made!!”  But poor James couldn’t sustain his rage because…he wanted to be angry with Pete, not with me.  “It was all his fault!” he shouted.  “I TOLD him not to blow up my vacuum cleaner!!!”  When he realised that in fact it was nothing to do with Pete at all, that poor Pete was blamelessly away in the ablutions block, nowhere near the boat, while I did the evil, thoughtless deed, he had to be all soft and fluffy and say, “Never mind, it doesn’t matter at all!”

And what I should buy, other than a surplus-to-requirements cleaner for James, is…a wet/dry cleaner for 2XS!!