Wednesday 20th Juy
Happy 50th Birthday (Superman) Chris Harmsen!
No time to proof-read, sorry about this...

Friday 15/7/11
We had the most beautiful trip from Noumea to the Baie de Prony.
No complaints at all! It wasn’t cold – no icy blast.
It wasn’t rough.
I felt well - no sick sick sickedy sickness!
And on the way Pete spotted a big whale tail, giving us the flick, just behind the boat, heading purposefully down the island.
Pete had time to read a few stories from Roald Dahl’s Tales of the Unexpected, which he had, ofcourse, read many years ago. He would regale me from time to time with a felicitous turn of phrase – Roald Dahl is such a beautiful writer, even if his short stories are very creepy. I couldn’t read any inspired writing from Black Notice… Really what was Patricia Cornwell thinking? And did an editor even look at this book?? Her first few novels were tightly written, gripping, if gruesome. In this one she writes as if she is totally distracted, maybe playing backgammon and watching TV at the same time. Here is an example: “He said his car had just been in an accident and needed to call the police.” WTF????
We got to a beautiful anchorage at about 4.15 so no stressful time with it getting dark dark darker…as sometimes happens. There were lots of boats in this bay, and many more still racing towards the anchorages as we found our spot. Most of the areas were completely full, nose-to-nose boats. And then we found a little nook, with only one yacht. Maybe nobody wanted it because there isn’t a beach in this part. But it is just gorgeous! Fringed with forest, birds tweeting, mangroves, reeds, mirror calm water. Just gorgeous!

Saturday 16th July
We woke to – wind and a rain squall! Our plans to walk up to the lighthouse – there is a track from one of the little nearby bays – or to go and find the volcanic vent up a nearby river came to naught. Nothing for it but – to relax! R & R! We shouted a bit at the people in the other yacht moored in the same little bay, and they came over for a cup of coffee. Margaret is from New Zealand but has lived and worked (teaching English, and doing translations,) in Noumea for twenty years. She was head of geography, and then later of modern languages, in various NZ high schools, and is very happy with her life in Noumea, with delightful Jean-Philippe as companion. Jean-Philippe is a primary teacher, born in France. His family has many links with New Caledonia. In fact, his great grandfather was the harbour master in Noumea. They were taking advantage of the long weekend by coming to their favourite place in the Baie de Prony, Anchorage C. There is really only supposed to be room for one boat so they must have been quite dismayed when great big 2XS barged in late in the afternoon, but they were very kind and friendly about it all. We spent a very pleasant morning with them, and asked them very many questions. One thing we had been wondering about was crime – we didn’t feel that Noumea was a very dangerous place at all. They said there is a lot of theft, most of it opportunistic, and yes, as the last shop lady we spoke to in Noumea had said, we were indeed very lucky our bikes hadn’t been whisked away from under our noses. We said, but there are so many police! “Ah,” they answered. “But they don’t do much!” As they were leaving we commented, happily, on the number of birds tweeting in the trees. “Yes!” said Jean-Philippe enthusiastically. “And yesterday evening there were fruit bats! Do you know fruit bats are truly delicious? Unfortunately they are now a protected species.” Live and learn!
I have been thinking about My Favourite Things. Things I have with me and which are invaluable on 2XS. Just in case you want to set sail for a year and a day…
Top of my list – and who will be surprised at this? – is my folding bike. I have already written about how much benefit we derive from these bikes, and how sad we would be – trudge trudge – without them so I won’t elaborate.
Then here is my Tilley hat from Canada, bought in Sydney. It is indeed a wonderful hat, and it stays on my head in all but the fiercest of winds, with its under-the-chin strap and behind-the-head laces. It also has the great advantage of having a reinforced crown, so Pete and I are very happy to use our Tilley hats in place of bike helmets – helmets are just hell in tropical climate.
My Ecco sandals would have been on the list but alack and alas they are no more… I will be very glad when I have been able to replace them with something equivalently supportive and non-slip and altogether trustworthy.
I also love my inflatable waterproof Black Wolf pillow. It has been a great comfort to me in times of seasickness, and I lug it around all over the place to make a pleasant squishy place to sit anywhere on the boat, any time.
My small light backpack is also invaluable. It holds quite a lot, or nothing much, and doesn’t weigh anything itself so it is never a nuisance, and is always there ready to stash a bottle of Iced Tea (pêche) or Orangina Rastaman.
I would have added my Kindle to this list but…my Kindle has disgraced itself by not responding to any cybersignals outside Australia. I have lots of books lined up ready to come on line but…it won’t let me turn the connection on, even if I am sitting right inside a WiFi signal. (This is why I have been reduced to reading St Joseph’s cathedral jumble sale books.)
My tiny little ipod shuffle, smaller than a chocolate frog. It holds an unknown number of songs (I have 820 downloaded so far,) plus who knows how many ABC podcasts and several very long audiobooks. It is very much my friend and companion when we are at sea and I would be very sad without it.
Oh and ofcourse….my faithful computer… It is a PC, bought at JB HiFi, and it really hasn’t caused me much grief at all. Or none that wasn’t – ahem – user error. So I have to apologise to it for (occasionally…) wishing that I had bought a bright and shiny Mac instead…
Our salad sprouter, a gift from Ann-Marie. It hasn’t started sprouting yet, because so far we have had many greens in the fridge, ready and waiting to be eaten. But its time is coming soon! Mung beans have been rinsed and are sitting in their little tray, looking ready to germinate any second. It all reminds me of the thrill of growing wheat on cotton wool in primary school.
My mohair blanket – no NOT the sort of thing you would think of taking on a yacht…or in the tropics…but it has been a great comfort and a source of warmth in times of need. Even this afternoon, with a chilly little wind blowing around the Baie de Prony, it has been wrapped around Pete’s legs as he has his little after-lunch (zzzzz) snooze.
My sailing shorts. NO not glamorous or even faintly attractive…but so practical! Many useful pockets non-stick stuff on the bottom (I mean MY bottom) – to prevent slipping and sliding when the going gets tough. Navy blue and totally anonymous looking; great for bike riding and notslipping on the boat!

Sunday 17th July
The plan for today was to go the six miles up the river off the Baie de Prony to look at, and maybe swim in, the warm volcanic vent. There is also a little village, and some convict ruins, all very much worth seeing. But…we thought we would be very clever and have a practice at putting up our sailchute in the sheltered bay. We were very tickled to find a little note on the tie rope – “Happy cruising, love Nick,” written on blue electrical tape. And all went very well until…it didn’t. I got some very painful injuries – a bad rope burn on both hands, and a hideous wound on my knee from an awkward landing soon after letting go of the halyard which had caused me grief. I ignored all injuries, ofcourse, because…the sailchute was in the water, half under the boat, and some of the ropes were tangled. It took us ages, and a few choice words from some of us, but we did get it all retied and sorted. (And yes we have learned some valuable lessons and will try again tomorrow.) As for my grievous wounds…well they are of no consequence because they are barely visible and therefore not grievous at all! I went into the cabin and took my jeans off, expected to find a large and bleeding gash which might need stitching with Pete’s trusty whipping twine. But…to my astonishment, there was my knee, as pink as could be, with not a scratch or even faint bruise to be seen. I’m so glad I hadn’t told him anything about it, let alone tell him to get out the needle and thread with which he had been diligently fixing fraying ropes that morning…And as for my hands, yes they are slightly blistered but nothing to indicate the amount of pain and misery they caused me. (I’m SO glad I didn’t make a big fuss…although I really wanted to…)
After all of this excitement I said, “Let’s just bugger off.” We really didn’t have time for leisurely sightseeing; we wanted to get to our next anchorage well before dark, because it involved wending between reefs with only the chart, and no markers, to guide us. A very narrow gap…Pete negotiated it all expertly, with the (very accurate) chart showing him exactly where to go while I, perched over the bow, peered anxiously into the water, with my very polarised sunglasses firmly in place, looking for bommies.
A few hours later, at 3.15, we arrived at a most beautiful sheltered place for 2XS – Anchorage B at Kuebuni. We are surrounded by steeply wooded hills, palm trees, white beaches, araucaria pines. Idyllic! And, to my delight, a sea-eagle-ish bird to greet us, swooping over the top of the water trying to catch fish. Maybe the pêcheur balbuzard? Who knows, but I was very happy to see it. Should we get off the boat and explore? Well yes ofcourse we should…but my need for a cup of tea is greater…
So…we sat and lolled about happily, me with my cherished cup of tea. I started to write postcards (yes MORE postcards…) and then we heard…putt putt putt – “Bonjour? Hello” We had visitors! There was only one other boat in this anchorage, a 46’ yacht, Shana. From France. Inhabited by yet another delightful couple, Antoine (Tony…) and Celine (“Like Celine Dion,” she offered. I said I knew a very beautiful Celine in Hobart, quite different to Celine Dion, and she was very happy. They have been cruising round the world for…wait for it…sixteen years, since Celine was 24…
We were very happy to extend a bit of bienvenu and we sat around very happily chatting on 2XS. Antoine spoke quite good English, Celine not so much, so we gossiped away happily in French. After a while they took us over to their boat, in shifts. Pete came back with Tony, wildly enthusiastic, so Celine and I puttputted over. And oh my goodness yes…the most beautiful boat I have yet seen… Antoine is a mastercraftsman, not just a carpenter. Shana is just beautiful. Spacious, light, with all manner of utilitarian luxury (yes I know this is a tautology but bear with me…aboard. A washing machine for example, behind a beautiful wooden door. A dining table with a wonderful marquetry gecko inlaid. They live frugally but with great style. They catch lots of fish and preserve whatever leftovers they have, in preserving jars, using a pressure cooker. We were inordinately impressed. After much chat, we decided to stay one more day in this most beautiful anchorage. No rush… Yes we have “checked out” of French territory…but maybe we won’t be flung into the clink if we overstay just a day or two…
Today before we left the Baie de Prony I discovered we had a hitchhiker. Some poor hapless spider had woven a most beautiful web on the deck, between ten wires. It was intricate and so clever, but it did not, ofcourse, last the trip from the Baie de Prony to Kuebuni. Too many waves, too much spray, wind. I showed Pete before we left and his face lit up with unholy joy. (Yes I know I love him but he has a dark side…) “Oh,” he said, “And I wonder where the BIG BLACK HAIRY spider is??” He doesn’t know me very well, does he? I know full well that the BIG HAIRY spiders of which I am inordinately and foolishly frightened, do not weave a delicate little web on the deck of a boat…

Monday 18th July
This morning I woke up SO dopey…oh dear, painkillers can do that to a girl… I made cups of tea, drooped around with my book, ate breakfast, and finally, languidly got up enough energy to write some postcards.
Our plan was to put the bikes in the tender and puttputt into shore and ride the however-many-kilometres to a nearby town, Goro, I think. I don’t know because…we didn’t get there… We loaded up the bikes plus both of us (yes a big load I know…but it was quite calm, in our big, beautiful lagoon,) precariously made our way. It was a long way and as we approached the shore it became apparent that we were never going to get there. Low tide…lots of mud, a bit of a reef, no passage through to shore unless we wanted to tow the tender (squelch squelch…) through thick oozy mud. No thank you! So the bikes got an exciting little sea voyage but no exercise… But we did get a big bonus for ourselves – a very big sea turtle, not far from the tender, plunging to the depths at the very sight of us, but visible for a few seconds nonetheless.
Celine and Antoine had stopped by in the morning to report back on their own trip to shore. They didn’t have their bikes with them so couldn’t go very far in their quest for five not-quite-ripe bananas. They did find a shop which sold…well nothing, really. And in case you are wondering how and why they dot to shore – they went at high tide; we left our run too late.
No shopping, no bike riding, so we decided to go to the beach on the (closer) island. Just beautiful! Because the tide was so far out, we could walk a long way out on the reef to look at all the different creatures in the rock pools. Clams, crabs, strange coral formations (no, sadly, not much coral…but a little of it, very lovely to see.) We ventured inland a bit and found a small abandoned village, a bit shabby around the edges. Celine told us later that this little island had been bought by a lawyer form Noumea; maybe the local inhabitants have been given a $$$ incentive to leave their little encampment.
We had been invited for drinks on Shana at 5.00 so we went back to 2XS and made ourselves a bit cleaner and more presentable. When we were on the deck about to leave, we saw Celine and Antoine waving excitedly and miming, “Get your binoculars out!” And there, standing knee-deep in water, were five strange dark creatures, close to the island. I said, “Umm…. New Caledonian Llamas??” But it was a small herd of deer! When we arrived on Shana Antoine said he had been watching them scampering and splashing happily across from the mainland to the island. Aquatic salt-water loving deer! Who knew?? (And yes ofcourse they are feral, a pest, and there is a bounty on their cute little heads but let us not spoil this lovely story!! And…yum yum said, Antoine and Celine…)
We had a very nice hour or so, drinking pastis and home-brewed beer with Celine and Antoine, and admiring yet more beautiful features of their fabulous yacht. And then home (I mean 2XS which yes is home) for dinner and an early night because we had to be up at 6.00. Unheard of!

Tuesday 19th July
We left beautiful Kuebuni, said a silent farewell to Shana – Antoine and Celine do NOT get up early, they told us very firmly as we said our farewells – and glided out gently through the narrow passage without a problem in the world. It was quite a long way to Maré and we couldn’t; go very fast at all because we were going straight into a NE wind. “Bastard!” said Pete, crossly. He disappeared into the cabin to look up charts, do things on the computer, and wander around with different bits of electronic wizardry. He was perfectly well occupied and happy, so I stayed at the helm, very happily listening to ABC podcasts and casting my eye 360 degrees around the horizon. I saw a few flying fish and a very small flock of fishing birds – they looked a lot like gannets, diving intently into one patch of ocean, which must have been heaving with fish. Otherwise not a sign of Nature untold we got to Maré and eagle-eyes Headlam spotted a turtle watching us from not too far away.
No I didn’t stay at the helm from 6-4…I am not superhuman! After lunch (2 minute noodles, and more delicious than you would think!) I felt a great need for sleep so Pete came on deck and I spent a very happy couple of hours snoozing gently and listening to my marine Best Friend Forever, Stephen Fry.
The water here around mare is just beautiful. Crystal clear, turquoise, perfect visibility. The most beautiful water we have seen so far on this trip. Maybe we wil get the chance for a bit of a swim!
Our yachting guide to Maré assured us there was a 12 metre floating dock on the SE side of the jetty in the main “town,” Tadine. Well…there wasn’t. We cruised delicately thorough the sea walls and then…out again. We anchored next to a very pretty New Caledonian yacht, resplendent ith flags, and once we had anchored we wondered – what on earth?? This is a very small town. A shop, a little morning market, an administration building, a school, a post office and a smattering of houses. So why all the noise?? Sirens, music, people lining the stone walls. And was this all for us?? A flypast of small planes (2), one large helicopter – yes, Steve and Nick, we are sure it was the same one we encountered in Ile des Pins, with the big tough (unfriendly) French soldiers aboard. There were lots of speeches and then – a balloon release! I could hear the main speaker talking very excitedly about “les balons” so I had an inkling this would happen. And how pretty it was, to have a whole cloud of balloons right over our heads! As soon as the balloons were released, a small m motorboat came whizzing out of the little harbour, carrying a large man in flowing robes – the Chief! Coming to greet us?? No, although the boat did do a whizz round 2XS. The chief was holding aloft a bright red torch and he looked very happy. He took it, with much ceremony, to the yacht next to us, which put up a beautiful sail and disappeared off into the ocean.
We were totally bemused by all of this; did the people on Maré maybe think it was the 14th of July?? We decided to take our chances and go in to shore in the tender. We have our clearance papers from New Caledonia and officially we are not supposed to set foot on NC territory again, not unless we go through customs, immigration, quarantine, in Noumea all over again. But we crept ashore…I was hoping to buy stamps and find a letterbox –such an optimist – and also I thought maybe there would be WiFi. But no… What we did find was a large shed-like shop, where Pete thought he might buy some beer. There were many aisles of alcohol, but BIG signs everywhere saying THE SALE OF ALCOHOL IS FORBIDDEN ON TUESDAY 19TH JULY UNTIL 8PM. Intervention!
I tentatively asked the large flowery shoplady if there was WiFi anywhere and she said yes ofcourse, I could go and sit outside the town hall, like all the young people do, and I would get a connection. I had by computer in my backpack, just on the offchance, so I took it out and sat on the steps of the small office building. And yes – WiFi connection, not a problem But…they wanted the password. By this stage we had been befriended by a big local man, who so wanted to help. Surely I didn’t REALLY need a password, they were just tricking. He asked everyone who went past, but they weren’t teenagers so ofcourse they didn’t know.
So this is getting longer and longer…maybe we will go and sit outside the mairie tomorrow morning and some kind person in the office with give me a password…or maybe we won’t push our luck and we will just move on to Lifou.