Tuesday 21st Augus

I have new tenants.  Calloo callay, o frabjous day!  And I didn’t have to wait three months, as I did last year.  I have realised that I am not landlord material.  Thank goodness for a nice reliable agent, to deal with all of the – well all of the crap.  To put it bluntly.

My original tenant – found after three long months of my poor little house sitting cold and empty – was Ya Ha, from Saudi Arabia.  He and his wife and toddler must have been happy there, because they produced another baby during their stay.  They kept the blinds closed almost all of the time, and Teresa, my reliable agent, told me that when she went on inspections it was tropical inside – they had the floor heating cranked up to 30!!  (I used to have it on 20 and it was very warm and cosy…)  My neighbour Ros was very happy because some of this warmth seeped through the adjoining wall to heat her little house quite nicely.

Ros is a kindly (in fact godly) woman and she befriended this little family.  Mrs Ya Ha was very shy, totally shrouded in full face-veil and long robes.  She wouldn’t even go as far as the letter box without all of her coverings.  Quite a change from the previous occupant who would scamper out to the letter box, or even to the street, towing a wheelie-bin, in her nightie…

One evening Mrs Ya Ha came to Ro’s door in great distress, fully draped.  Her mobile phone had gone flat, Ya Ha was away, and she was possibly in labour!  Could Ros please ring the hospital!  I can’t imagine how distressing all of this must have been for her – hardly a world of English, a husband busy studying goodness knows where, unfamiliar surroundings, no family support, and needing to cover up at all times!

She went back, with the children, and things went downhill… Ya Ha had obviously never lifted a finger in the house.  And he continued to live as though he had Mrs Ya Ha there to pick things up, wash and fetch.  He left very suddenly, with no notice given.  He just arrived in Teresa’s office with the keys one late Friday afternoon, and said, “I’m leaving first thing in the morning.” 

Oh good.  Poor Teresa had to hop to it and go and do an early morning inspection of the bombsite formerly known as Marguerite’s Little House.  Nothing was actually damaged, broken, stolen but…there was mess everywhere.  Coffee cups exuding strange moulds downstairs, stinky food in the cupboards and the fridge, and lots of extra items on all of the shelves.  I had left the place fully furnished, with new crockery, cutlery etc.  Eight of everything, all white and matchy-matching.  And suddenly there were alien and unwanted mugs crowding out all the whiteness, and many many more strange items in the cutlery drawers. 

It took two cleaners a whole day to throw out all of the crapola and purify the surfaces.  ($620)  Ya Ha had also managed to kill the dishwasher, which was, fortunately, still under warranty, and had only been used once before he and his family moved in.  Not happy Jan!

We were all very indignant and cross, especially as he left owing two weeks rent.  The bond would probably cover everything but it was still all very discouraging.

But before we get too annoyed with Ya Ha – he suddenly coughed up the missing rent money and transmitted it to Teresa from Saudi Arabia!  And new tenants turned up all ready to sign a twelve month lease without me having to get in the least bit anxious.  So…all is well!