Friday 19th August

We have finally managed to get a copy of a Lonely Planet guide to the South Pacific.
And I have to make yet another apology – the Vanuatu people are not Nivans; they are ni-Vans.

Also – I have to do some more research on this – maybe I have to apologise to the entire French nation – the horrid erosion and degradation of forests on all of the islands of New Caledonia might NOT be caused by open-cut mining and forestry, but by natural attrition by poisons seeping into the soil. Let me know if I am correct/incorrect.

Another nice story about our ni-Van friend Mark… He worked for a while as an abseiling guide in the Mélé cascades. His English is quite good; his French maybe not so good. In fact…maybe non-existent… He had some nice French women in a tour group, middle-aged, who didn’t speak one single word of English. He met them halfway down the waterfall and had to get them to leap further down the chasm. But they just blinked at him and smiled winningly – Mark is a very attractive young bloke. How to get them to leap?? No common language…maybe he could…ummm….invent some French. He gazed at them intently and made some sort of encouraging semi-leaping movements in Interpretative Dance mode. “Dejoompe,” he said. “dejooompe!” Wasn’t that how Les Français say JUMP??? Well no.. they stared at him in astonishment and stayed put on the ledge until eventually…they dejoomped!! We haven’t been to these cascades yet but we hope to do so very soon. Unfortunately we have to put in a few long and strenuous days in Immigration renewing our visas for another month otherwise we can’t stay in beautiful Vanuatu (ni-Van??) islands and will have to scarper to the Solomons.